In the interview below,  shares more about her latest release.

In The Accidental Bride, your main character, Shay is continually concerned with what others might think. Worrying about the opinions of others is a common malady in today’s society. What made you decide to write about it?

As you say, it’s so common to be worried about what others think of us. I love that quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” So true! Shay needed to realize that it’s God’s opinion that really matters. When we focus on pleasing people, we tend to make poor decisions.

This isn’t your first novel based on the cowboy lifestyle. What drew you to this particular lifestyle as the backdrop for your writing?

I’m drawn to the rugged appeal of the cowboy lifestyle. Even though I live in a city, I’m a country girl at heart, and I especially love the mountains; that’s why I was drawn to Montana for this series. There’s something simple and beautiful about living off the land that I think appeals to readers right now. Things are tough for so many people—and though the cowboy lifestyle is a hard one—it’s also very organic, a back to our roots kind of thing.

The premise of The Accidental Bride is both interesting and unique. What inspired your decision to involve your hero and heroine in an “accidental” marriage?

I was watching a TV movie in which the actors were getting married, and I wondered, “What if the actor playing the preacher was an ordained minister? Would the couple be legally married?” Turns out, it’s not quite that simple to become accidentally married. There’s the matter of a marriage license that the pastor has to sign and mail to the proper government agency. So the good news is, it’s not likely to happen to you or anyone you know. But it sure was fun instigating such an event in a novel!

Before she could forgive him, Travis had to rebuild Shay’s trust. Is this a necessary step, or do you believe we should forgive even those who may never be trustworthy again?

Trust and forgiveness are two different things. Forgiveness is something God commands us to do—regardless of circumstances like whether or not the offender is apologetic or has changed, etc.

Trust is different; it’s earned. And unfortunately, it takes a long time to build trust and only one bad decision to wreck it. We forgive the offender, but if he or she doesn’t change, we aren’t required to trust the person again. It’s the offender’s responsibility—if he or she wants to be trusted again—to earn back that trust.

As an award-winning romance novelist you are, no-doubt, a role model for many would-be writers. What advice would you give to those who dream of one day being published? What’s an absolute must for a great romance?

• First of all, I recommend aspiring writers to study and practice. Writing is a craft to be honed, and no matter how much natural talent you have, it takes both of those things to become a good writer.
• Also, write the book you want to read. If you want to read that kind of book, there will be others who want to read it too.
• Study the market, not so that you can jump on every trend, but so that you know how your story fits into the market.
• Join a writers group so you can meet other writers—iron sharpens iron.
• Once you have a marketable manuscript, go to conferences. The American Christian Writers Conference is the best out there in my opinion (www.acfw.com). At conferences, you will learn from some of the best in the industry and get a chance to pitch your work to agents and editors.
• E-publishing is becoming huge, but don’t put a sub-par manuscript out there where it will only flounder. Hone the craft, write the best story you can, and learn to re-write. Then hire an editor. Every published author has one for a reason!
• Getting published can be a long, uphill climb, but persistence pays off.

An interview with Carl Kerby, author of 

 “The two most important pieces of information I will take away from this book: stay bold and be prepared to give a defense of your faith. This book will inspire Christians to do just that. Your story, from your checkered childhood to your resistance to God’s path for you, is a strong reminder that God has a plan for us all. Your explanation of how the Bible fits into the modern-day world, tackling issues such as evolution and race, is crucial to today’s Christian.” ~ Rich “Ace” Franklin, three-time UFC MMA Champ

Life is often not picture-perfect, and difficult times can make it hard to see a plan or purpose for our lives. In this inspiring story of one man’s journey, you will learn to see life from a different perspective. No matter what your circumstances, God can gather up the broken pieces and random elements of your life and form them into a beautiful mosaic—making you a useful vessel for His glory.

In what ways are our lives like mosaics?

To me, a mosaic is a fitting illustration of the way God can take the broken pieces of our lives and create something beautiful from them. My life has been filled with boulders and broken stones. Yet God, in His grace, has put those stones together in a mosaic to make me into a useful vessel for His glory.

I once saw a large mosaic but was too close to understand the design, so I backed up to get a better view. Just as the mosaic picture didn’t make sense until I got a broader perspective, I had to do the same thing with the struggles I’ve encountered. As I look back over my life from a different perspective, I can see why God has allowed me to undergo some of the challenges I’ve had.

I also realized that the more broken pieces in the mosaic, the more beautiful the picture and the greater its value. The more we’ve gone through, the more amazing the picture our lives can be when we have God’s perspective.

How can Christians use the mosaic of their life to bring hope to others?

People are often encouraged by my story, when they realize that God can use anyone to do His work—even the messed-up son of a professional wrestler who ended up earning his livelihood as an air-traffic controller and then a public creation speaker. Growing up I struggled with a lot of things other people do: an absentee father, my parents’ divorce, alcohol and drugs, run-ins with the law, even being homeless at one point.

No matter our background, we can all share our own life stories, our mosaic, to tell others how God has taken the broken pieces of our life and made something beautiful and valuable. Those rocky areas in our life can be steppingstones for sharing the love of Christ with others.

You address the topic of racism in Reasons for Hope. Why was that issue important to include?

Sadly, evolutionary teaching promotes the idea that people are divided into different “races” with some “races” better than others, leading to all sorts of prejudice, hatred, and bloodshed. I know I was wrong in my racist attitudes when I was young, and many still believe the same way I did. That’s why I take such a strong stand on this issue today.

Ultimately, the issue of racism comes down to this: where did humans come from? When you reject what the Bible says about man’s origin, you will end up with all kinds of wrong beliefs. But biblically and scientifically, there is only one race of people—Homo sapiens—all made in the image of God. So we need to abandon the term “races” and instead talk about “cultures” or “people groups.”

We have to teach people the truth about racism, but what bothers me the most is that the church has dropped the ball on this issue. In fact, the church (in some instances) is one of the last bastions of racism and prejudice in America. And if we, as Christians, cannot grasp the need to eradicate racism, how can we expect the world to do that?

Reasons for Hope in the Mosaic of Your Life by Carl Kerby
Genesis Publishing Group/December 15, 2011
ISBN: 978-1933591094/208 pages/paperback/$14.99
To learn more about Reasons for Hope* visit www.rforh.com.

For review copy and interview information, contact:
Audra Jennings
Senior Media Specialist ~ The B&B Media Group
800-927-0517 x 104 -  ajennings(at)tbbmedia.com

An interview with Ed Welch, author of 

What are some questions we can ask ourselves to determine if we are being too controlled by the opinions of others?    

The list is a long one here. Am I angry? hopeless? self-protective? afraid? ashamed? depressed? withdrawing? Do I lie to make myself look better? Do I try to attach myself to the celebrity or popular person with the hope of enhancing my own reputation?

Can you explain the term “peer pressure” and what it really means?  

I don’t hear this word as much as I once did. It usually means that we are willing to do things we wouldn’t normally do as a way to be accepted by others. There is a good kind of peer pressure, when a youth group really wants to know Jesus better, but that’s not the way it usually happens. We have a lot of the Old Testament biographies in us, and in those cases when a person who belonged to God met a person who loved his or her idols, the follower of God started following the idols and not vice versa. Of course, in the age of the Spirit that can be different.

You say that so much of life comes down to three questions. Can you tell us what they are and how we can find the answers to them?

The questions are Who is God? Who am I? and Who are you?  The answers can be a little difficult to discover. Most of us know the correct theological answers to these questions, but there are the correct ones and then there are the ones we really believe. That why the topic of the opinions of other people is so handy. It can surprise us with our REAL answers to those questions.

So what are some of the real answers?

Who is God? Picky, distant, nice but irrelevant.

Who am I? Needy, I must find an identity in myself – who I am and what I do? The problem is that God isn’t very relevant and other people don’t solve the problem because I am a never ending hole that is looking to others so I can feel okay about myself.

Who are you? A threat, a god.

If we use these three basic questions, the question about God tends to be irrelevant, which is at the very heart of the problem. The normal answer is, he loves me [but so what?]. Why doesn’t his love make that much difference? It’s because other people have become our substitute god. The only way that God’s love becomes relevant is for “Why do I care?” to become a confession, as in “Lord, why do I care so much about me and my desires?” That takes an ordinary desire [for approval, love, acceptance, belonging . . . ] that has grown to extraordinary proportions so that it is a ruling or even idolatrous desire, and it brings that desire back to being an ordinary one in which other people’s poor opinions can hurt us, but not control us.

And who are other people? We want to love them just a little more than be loved by them.

You write a lot in your book about worship. Tell us why this is such an important theme and how it applies to the issue of people pleasing.

Worship seems like a once-a-Sunday thing, but Scripture puts life in either/or terms: either we love God or something else, we trust in God or something else, we bow down to God or something else. Bowing down or worshipping is a vivid and accurate way to describe what is always taking place in our hearts. The word control gets at it. What controls us is our god. What controls us is what we adore and worship.

How can recognizing everyone in our lives—acquaintances, loved ones, friends and enemies—as FAMILY change our perspectives and the way we live with and think about others?

We can have wretched families that are more like enemies than families, but most of us are familiar with relationships in which we love people freely. We don’t have to put on airs, we are always wondering what they are thinking about us. Instead, we simply love and enjoy them. When we are interested, we are more interested in them than we are in what they think of us. That recognizable experience moves us toward a way out from this particular human struggle. At the end of the day, love God and love your neighbor is where we will find lots of answers.

About the Author: Edward T. Welch, M.Div., Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). He has counseled for over twenty-five years and is the best-selling author of many books, including When People Are Big and God Is Small; Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave; Blame It on the Brain?; Depression: A Stubborn Darkness; Crossroads: A Step-by-Step Guide Away from Addiction; Running Scared: Fear, Worry and the God of Rest; and When I Am Afraid: A Step-by-Step Guide Away from Fear and Anxiety. He and his wife Sheri have two daughters, two sons-in-law and four grandchildren.

 What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?: Answers to the Big Questions of Life by Edward T. Welch
New Growth Press/November 2011
ISBN 978-1-935273-86-8/160 pages/paperback/$12.99
www.newgrowthpress.com ~ http://www.ccef.org/blog

]]> http://christianbookwormreviews.com/2012/01/interview-ed-welch-author-of-what-do-you-think-of-me-why-do-i-care/feed/ 0 http://christianbookwormreviews.com/2011/12/you-can-stay-fit-during-christmas/ http://christianbookwormreviews.com/2011/12/you-can-stay-fit-during-christmas/#comments Thu, 01 Dec 2011 13:15:00 +0000 CBR Editor http://faithwebbin.net/2010/12/you-can-stay-fit-during-christmas/ You Can Stay Fit During Christmas!
By Laurette Willis, Director of PraiseMoves, LLC
www.PraiseMoves.com

“I am the bread of life” John 6:48

Those words really put holiday overindulgence into perspective don’t they? Perhaps the overindulgence we could enter into this Christmas is filling up on the “bread of life” instead of the bread of this world—after all, Jesus was placed in a manger (a feeding trough!) as a baby.

When we think of the bread of this world, do you think of physical bread? It can be that as well as what I call the “soul junk food” of this world. I’m referring to the PG-13, R-rated (and worse) so-called “entertainment” of this world (TV, movies, music, etc.).

Okay, now I’m meddling, right? It’s just that I’ve found that if I’m filling up on the world’s junk food through my eyes and ears, I also seem to want to satisfy my mouth with the world’s processed junk foods for my body.

When I’m taking in less life through the Word into my spirit, my discernment and choices in other areas of my life aren’t as clear or focused.

Pick a Scripture Snack” Each Day

Fill up on real soul food! Pick one “Scripture snack” to chew on each day. Today my “snack” from the Word was the verse at the beginning of this article where Jesus said, “I am the bread of life.”

Throughout the day I went back to that Word and asked the Lord to give me new revelation on it. I noticed my focus became clearer, I made better choices in a number of areas and I felt satisfied on the inside (not “stuffed” and numb from overindulging my flesh as I had so many times before).

More Practical Tips

In addition to ensuring your heart and mind are full of the Word, here are 5 tips to help you spearhead the movement in your family to a healthier Christmas and 2010:

1. Make a difference in someone’s life. Focus on one or two people you are going to get to know better over the holiday. This can be a member of your own family, a friend, a neighbor, perhaps even someone at church who needs to be with a family at Christmas (why not yours?).

2. If you don’t move, you lose. Much of the weight gain during the holidays is due to a lack of physical exercise. Decide to get some exercise in early in the day before the hubbub of activity starts.

3. Make it a family affair. After the big meal, be the instigator behind a “Let’s all go outside and walk off some of that delicious dinner before dessert!” I think you’d be surprised how many will thank you for it later!

4. Don’t skip meals. Even if you think you may be eating more over the holidays, don’t make the mistake of skipping meals so you can “stock up” later.

5. Drink plenty of water. Stay well-hydrated. It will also ensure you eat less. We often reach for a high-calorie snack when our body is really crying out for water.

Above all, stay focused on making sure your spirit is well-fed. You will sail through the holidays and into 2010 with your heart full, your mind clear and your body full of energy as a fit witness for Christ. He is able to do “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us” (Eph. 4:20).

Let’s believe Him for it – and share our victory with others this holiday season.

And now I’d like to invite you to learn about the new PraiseFast program, get my free "Fit Favorites Devotional" and PraiseMoves FitNews. Please go to http://praisemoves.com.

© Laurette Willis 2009

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Christian Fitness Expert and author Laurette Willis is the Director of PraiseMoves, offering fitness programs, DVDs, books and training for those interested in a Christian alternative to yoga, and fitness for spirit, soul and body at http://praisemoves.com. To follow Laurette on Twitter visit http://twitter.com/Fit4Christ and on FaceBook: http://facebook.com/praisemoves

VIEW TRANSCRIPT BELOW

Tyora: Welcome, this is Tyora Moody with Tywebbin Virtual Book Tours. We are delighted to have as our guest today, Christian Fiction author, Patti Lacy.

Just a tidbit about Patti. Patti, is a graduate from Baylor University with a Bachelors in Education. She taught at Harltand Community College in Normal Illinois until she retired in 2006 pursue writing full time. She and her husband Allan have two grown children. Patti, thank you for the opportunity to interview you today.

Patti: Well, thank you, Ty, you’re always so great and gracious and I just appreciate the invitation.

Tyora:  Oh not a problem. I enjoy being able to do virtual book tours with you and definitely enjoy the opportunity to introduce your latest book Reclaiming Lily to new readers as well as to readers who know about your former titles. Patty, this is your fourth book – is that correct?

Patti: That’s right.

Tyora: Okay. Tell us what are your other book titles?

Patti: My first novel is, An Irish Woman’s Tale, and that came out with Kregel Publications in 2008 followed by What the Bayou Saw’the next year, and then in January of this year 2011 Kregel published The Rhythm of Secrets and now on October 1st, Bethany House will release Reclaiming Lily.

Tyora: Awesome. Tell us a little bit about background behind Reclaiming Lily. I like that title ‘Reclaiming Lily’. Who is Lily?

Patti: Lily is the Chinese sister. One of the lost daughters of China and as I became more interested in China because my parents lived there as missionaries for two years, I found out that following the cultural revolution there was a one child policy placed on families. And because of the desire of many families to have a son because of China’s patriarchal bans, families will either abort children or abandon female babies on river banks, in dark alleys, and some on orphanage steps and ‘Reclaiming Lily’ is based on the life of one of these lost daughters of China – a little girl named Lily.

Tyora:  So I understand you said your parents were missionaries in China?

Patti: Yes.

Tyora: And so you actually, you took a trip to China yourself as well for research purposes. Is that correct?

Patti: I did last May.

Tyora: Tell us a little bit about that trip. How was the cultural experience for you?

Patti: The cultural experience blew me away. I had a lot of misconceptions about China even though I had read about 20 research books and one was that religion was outlawed by the communist government and I actually went into a Christian church there were Philip Ansey preached. And saw people wearing crossed and freely carried my Bible around and didn’t feel any problems with that. And another misconception is China is dirty and I saw more Mercedes and haute couture clothes in Beijing than I thought I have seen in Houston and other big cities in the U.S. and I also saw a people that loved their children and a people that struggling with the one child policy now and changes are being implemented in China to try to deal with not only with the orphans in the orphanages but with the fact that some couples would like to have more than one child.

Tyora: Wow, that’s great. You did break a couple of myths that I thought about China as well. Well, you say you were able to walk around and carry around your Bible? I would I guess there are some differences in the Chinese culture in how they practice Christianity over in the East versus the U.S. over here in the West. Do you see any of those differences or…

Patti: Well Ty, I was totally limited because I speak no Chinese [Laughs]. I did have a friend that’s a Chinese national and she was my tour guide and my banker and my translator. She is not a Christian and she did take me to churches where westerners and Chinese with foreign papers were allowed to worship. The Chinese issue on religion and Christianity is about as complex as their government right now and being kind of a very capitalistic place that is called communism.
They have three self churches which are supposedly Christian churches ran by the government and I’ve been told that they do not practice certain things in the Bible and are not allowed to talk about them but the people attend those churches do use the Bible. So they are able to read. And there are also probably what you’ve heard of and what I assumed all churches in China were the underground churches which are house churches that have been persecuted in some areas but in some areas they haven’t.

And Christianity Today recently did an article to sum the complexities of religion in China and how many Chinese don’t want their churches to be an extension of American religion and they would like to keep some of their own more ways such as not necessarily ancestral worship that admiration of ancestors and sticking to some old practices.

Tyora: Hmm, that’s very interesting. Wow. So now you went over to China to kinda learn more about the Chinese adoption process. Is that correct?

Patti: I did Ty, unfortunately I was not able to get into an orphanage. I made many attempts to make contact by email and phone before I went and I had no luck whatsoever and was kinda later told that a westerner that had writer on her Visa would never be able to get into an orphanage without many more connections than I have.

Tyora: Oh I see. Okay let’s go back to ‘Reclaiming Lily’ a little bit. You told us who Lily was, who are some of the other major characters in the book?

Patti: Well the main character is Dr. Kai Chang, who is the sister who actually laid her younger sister on the orphanage steps and so for a decade Dr. Chang has carried around this guilt that she actually gave away the precious jewel of their family and her mother’s dying wish is for her to reclaim their sister for their Chang honor, and so Kai as a young girl makes a vow with her sisters to become a doctor and she actually does get admitted into Harvard Medical School. She comes to America though not just for her education and for profession but to look for that daughter that has been adopted by an American pastor and his wife.

And that American’s pastor’s wife Gloria is another key figure in the story. See you actually have kinda a triangle of two women who thinks they know what’s best of this little girl, that’s Chinese, and they’re both kind of afraid of each other and in the case of the pastor’s wife she actually you know kind of hates the Chinese sister because she’s not doing very well as a parent and she wonders if China would have been a better place for her daughter and she’s not able to admit that to her pastor husband or really to anyone. So that’s kind of a lot of the inner conflict is that the American mother of Joy – who which is the adopted name of Lily – really doesn’t feel like she’s been a good mother and so has resentment and fear of the Chinese sister.

Tyora: Sounds like two women and two cultures definitely clashed there.

Patti: Colliding [Laughs].

Tyora:  Colliding [Laughs]. Well if you don’t mind, can we get into something about Lily, whose American name is Joy in the book, what are some of the things that’s kinda troubling her that’s causing a little bit of trouble between the American mother and the Chinese sister in trying to come together?

Patti: Well Ty, I tried to examine something that psychologists and sociologists are wondering about, what effect there will be on a child that is taken from a very rich culture at a young age and transported you know from the East to the West and kind of you know arranged in another family. And even if the family is secure and happy, is there some price for removing a child from their culture and I think the Native American culture has examined this and many Americans are aware of this kind of debate. And so Joy as she grows up is not really embraced by the Caucasian community in which her family lives.

The Christian church which they go to very much sees her as an outsider; other little girls don’t wanna play with her. Part of that is because Joy is kind of nerdy. She’s smart. She doesn’t gravitate towards the thing that’s kinda the in-crowd likes, you know, the pre-teen girls that like boys and pop music, and so she’s kinda already an outsider and as she grows and becomes a teenager she doesn’t see anyone else with her almond eyes and her skin color and she really starts having problems with how she looks and she really starts having a lot of angst.

And so, she actually shoplift and acts out on her behavior and she tries to get attention by hanging around with trying to get into a gang and trying to be a goth to some extent. She dyes her hair kind of in, you know, a purple color which for that time period – the nineties – in Texas would definitely be, you know, a different group – not the norm of the high school. And then as kind of a last resort she actually attempts a cutting episode – a self mutilation.

Tyora: Hmm. Hmm. Wow, this sounds like another very well developed book from you where you’re bringing forth women or characters who are definitely in pain. And I like the way you always in your books bring forth the cultural part of a person as well. So I’m gonna go ahead and kinda wrap up this interview. I definitely like the fact that you were able to take the time out to talk to me today and can you tell us where people can find you online or what other things are coming up for you as Reclaiming Lily starts to come out and people start to see it on bookshelves and get it on online.

Patti: I’d be happy to tell you Ty, I love to have readers contact me especially through Facebook. Everyday I post an art piece which I try to pick paintings around the world and from different eras and art periods and that kind of started when I talked humanities and some of my students still kept in touched and talked about how they enjoyed looking at the paintings that they had thought were so awful when they were in class but they find they actually miss them.

And I also try to post some inspirational piece everyday on Facebook and then you can also visit www.pattilacy.com/blog. I post once a week and I usually just post about life as a writer or what’s it like to live in Normal, Illinois which is where I live. And those are the main ways to find me.

I also will be doing a Facebook party and they’ll be giving away a nook. So that’s gonna be coming up in the next couple of weeks and then the fabulous Ty Moody is doing a blog tour and there’s also Christian Fiction Blog Alliance tour in October. So there’s lots of chances to win books and other prizes and some gift cards and so I really hope that I connect with some new readers and some old friends.

Tyora: Awesome. Well I do wanna thank you again for choosing Tywebbin to work on this virtual book tour and definitely for those of you out there you can visit Patti online at pattilacy.com and as she said you can find her on Facebook. Patti, I’m looking forward to your virtual book tour where you will share your experiences about writing this book, going to China, and I’m looking forward to seeing what the readers have to say about Reclaiming Lily as I’m sure you are too.

Patti: Thank you Ty, you do a wonderful job.

Follow the Reclaiming Lily Virtual Book Tour

The Secret of Fearing God
By Patricia Raybon

God is not safe. That’s the terrifying and wondrous truth. And most believers fight that truth. Sometime for entire lifetimes. Or, in my case, I dared to ask: How could the God who is Peace, Love and Joy be the same God who inspires my fear? It didn’t add up. But I was ignorant. And the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.

So I had to make peace, as the writer of Hebrews puts it, that it’s “a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” He’s not our buddy, as another writer said. Instead, as God Himself declared in Deuteronomy 32:39, “I am the one who kills and give life; I am the one who wounds and heals; no one delivers from my power!”

Only when I accept the terrifying truth of God’s real danger – danger to sin and to Satan and to all who give in to Satan’s ways – will I understand the central fact of godly knowledge: That if it’s terrifying to fall into the hands of the God, it’s more terrifying not to fall into His hands at all.

This point was dramatized with great insight by theologian C.S. Lewis in his classic children’s story, The Chronicles of Narnia. When the children in the story probe their host about Aslan the Lion, they ask: “Is he dangerous?” The obvious answer is: Yes.

He’s a lion. Of course, he’s not safe. He’s dangerous, in fact. Just like God—who is, indeed, Almighty God. With omnipotent power. With infinite might. With purifying justice. So, yes. He’s terrifyingly dangerous. And absolutely not safe. But the children’s host adds the corresponding truth:

“But he’s good.”

Knowing this, we can rise up terrifying and wondrous journey of being His children. Knowing God can’t be controlled. Knowing God won’t compromise. Knowing God isn’t safe. Then falling at His feet in awe and gladness at being chosen for safety in Him.

Award-winning author Patricia Raybon’s newest book is the One Year® daily devotional, God’s Great Blessings, which includes this reflection on reverence. She is also author of two acclaimed memoirs, My First White Friend and I Told the Mountain to Move. She also collaborated with calligrapher Timothy Botts in his upcoming gift book honoring African American spirituals, Bound for Glory. Learn more at her website: PatriciaRaybon.Com

Early marriage might not be a problem; instead, it might just be a solution.

In Young and in Love, Pastor Ted Cunningham boldly suggests that early marriage is not as harmful as many believe and even offers the solution to staying sexually pure. He guides young adults through the arguments against early marriage and then reveals the secrets to creating a healthy, successful, and life-long relationship in early adulthood.

Q:  Over the past century, the national average for marrying age has increased and has continued to creep upwards.  In the 1950’s, for example, marrying at 20 was the norm.  Why are that many people waiting until they are older to marry?

The two primary reasons for delaying marriage today are fear of having a marriage like their parents and prolonged adolescence.  First, mom and dad may have been committed but did not enjoy one another.  Second, they grew up in homes where they were given too much privilege and not enough responsibility.  They were not prepared or trained to be a husband or wife.

Q:  Why has marriage become discouraged at a young age?  Do you think the Bible encourages young love?

Young marriage is discouraged because parents and the young adults themselves know they are not ready for marriage.  The Bible has two stages of life: childhood and adulthood.  There is no in-between.  When you left home, you cleaved to your spouse (Gen. 2:24).  Marriage and adulthood are linked.

Q:  Do you think the struggle our generation has with sexual impurity can be linked to the fact that marriages are being delayed?  Do you think that young adults would be more sexually pure if they married earlier?

It would certainly give them more hope.  After they reach puberty, we implore them to wait 15+ years.  We teach them to delay sex until marriage.  Most are having sex and delaying marriage.

Q:  Why do you think that “purity” talks are failing with Christian youth?

We’ve been teaching them how to honor purity, not marriage.  The Scripture calls us to honor marriage and purity is just one way to do that (Hebrews 13:4).  We need to prepare them to be husbands and wives.  Purity is a lifelong pursuit for all Christians.  It is not an issue for singles alone.

Q:  You were 21 when you first called home to tell your parents about Amy, who would soon become your wife.  How did your parents respond to your news?  Were her parents supportive?

Our parents were more than excited because they knew we were ready for the responsibility.

Q:  At what age do you encourage marriage?  When do you believe that someone is too young?

For starters, you must be a legal adult.  The youngest couple I have ever married was 19.  Their life circumstances forced them into adulthood at an early age and they understood and embraced responsibility.  I’ve married thirtysomethings with less maturity than this couple.  Again, the issue for me is not age, but maturity.

Q:  Can you give us some examples of unnecessary and necessary delays for marriage?

Necessary delays would include finishing high school and seeking your parents’ blessing.  Going after mom and dad’s blessing is a huge mark of maturity and a fantastic transition from childhood to adulthood.

Unnecessary delays would include waiting for a fat bank account, finishing college or graduate degrees, getting settled into the perfect job or exploring an extended season of self-exploration (independence).

Q:  Many people think you should be more financially secure, for example, because money is such a big issue in marriages.  In this economy, that may not even be possible, but how big of an impact does that have on a young marriage?

Plan on a poor or modest start.  That may mean coffee from gas stations, used cars and hand me down furniture.  You may need to start with flip phones.  Delay iPhones, iPads amd Macbooks, not marriage.

About the Author

Ted Cunningham is the founding pastor of Woodland Hills Family Church in Branson, Missouri. He is the co-founder of Two Ignite, a local church movement created to strengthen marriage through adventure. Ted is a speaker with the Smalley Relationship Center and has co-authored four books with Dr. Gary Smalley: The Language of Sex, From Anger to Intimacy, As Long As We Both Shall Live, and Great Parents, Lousy Lovers. He has been a guest on Focus on the Family, Life Today, and Moody Radio. He is a graduate of Liberty University and Dallas Theological Seminary.

Cunningham loves seeing lives changed, marriages rescued, and families saved. He met his wife Amy on a blind date at Liberty University and determined to marry her that night. Although he didn’t ask her then, she said “yes” to his proposal a year later. Now married for 15 years, they both love taking road trips and boating on Table Rock Lake with their two kids who reside with them in Branson, MO.

Young and in Love: Challenging the Unnecessary Delay of Marriage by Ted Cunningham
David C Cook/July 2011/ISBN: 978-0-7814-0447-1/224 pages/paperback/$14.99
www.davidccook.com ~ www.tedcunningham.com

Q & A for Kim Cash Tate,

Q: Cherished centers around the theme of forgiveness—forgiveness for ourselves and for others. Why do you believe forgiveness has such a great impact on our lives?

Forgiveness has a great impact on our lives because it’s freeing.  Prior to forgiving ourselves or others, we’re bound by whatever the thing is that we’re holding onto.  With regard to others, we may feel that we have a right to hold onto the offense committed against us.  We may even relish holding onto it.  But in reality, it’s a prison of bitterness.  With regard to ourselves, it’s painful to think you can never get beyond the shame of what you’ve done.  But the Lord offers us freedom from the weight of sin through forgiveness.  And when we forgive ourselves and others, we experience that same sense of freedom. We’re able to truly put the past behind us and walk in the newness of what’s ahead. Forgiveness has a great impact on our lives because we become more like Christ when we forgive.

Q: In your novel, you look at your characters’ dreams for their futures. Some of those dreams are given up only to be returned to them later. Other times, God changes the heart of the dreamer. How do you think God can change our perspective as we grow to know Him?

God is certainly in the business of changing perspective.  He totally changed my perspective as I grew to know Him.  He does it by aligning our hearts and minds with Him and His Word.  Often, our view is skewed by our own desires, our own thoughts as to our purpose in life, our own limitations as to what we think is possible, or even the thoughts, plans, and ideas that others, such as our parents, may have instilled in us.  But God has a purpose for us that He worked out before the foundation of the world, and as we grow to know Him, He reveals it to us.

Q: Your novels do not take away the consequences of the sins committed by your characters, yet your readers are able to see God’s remarkable restoration. Do you believe that God can use anyone to bring Him glory—no matter what sins they have committed in their pasts?

God can absolutely use anyone to bring Him glory, especially those who’ve committed the “greater sins.”  His work in the human heart is an absolute miracle.  I know how far I lived from God.  I wasn’t thinking about God or how I could please Him.  I was dead in my sins, as Ephesians tells us.  And yet, He saved me and made me alive through Christ.  He made me a new creation.  When a life is changed through Christ, that brings God glory.  For some, there’s a dramatic change.  Perhaps the sin was so public or so dark or so heinous that people thought there was no hope for the individual.  But that person can be forgiven and changed like everyone else, and the glory belongs to God.

Q: One of your characters has an affair with a married man in the church. Why do you think it was difficult for Christians in the church to view her as changed and to forgive her?

We have our own ideas as to which sins are greater and which are lesser.  The sin of adultery tends to be viewed as one of the greater sins, and if someone is “the other woman,” it’s hard to forgive the pain and hardship she had a hand in inflicting on the marriage.  If we forgive her, we may feel that we’ve betrayed the wife.  Or we may feel that we’re ignoring the seriousness of what occurred.  But all of our righteousness is as filthy rags.  There’s not one of us who has the right to decide that someone’s sin is outside the realm of forgiveness.  Thank God!  What an awesome God who freely forgives and casts our sins as far as the east is from the west.  He’s much freer with forgiveness than we are.

Q: Kelli hid the sin she had committed from her entire family and shouldered her guilt alone as so many Christians do.  What freedom do you think is experienced from bringing our mistakes out into the open?  

When we keep the sin hidden, it holds power over us.  She had already asked God’s forgiveness, but it still loomed large in her eyes.  The shame loomed large, and it accused her.  It also weighed on her. The enemy can do a lot of damage when we struggle alone.  But when we bring it out in the open, there’s freedom in gaining the support we didn’t think we’d have.  There’s freedom in gaining counsel. There’s freedom when others share truth with us from God’s Word to erase the lies the enemy told us when we were alone.  Often, when we bring things out in the open, we find out that others we know have struggled with the same thing.  We were meant to dwell together as a body, to support, encourage, and love on each other.  There’s immense freedom in operating as a body.

Q: Do you believe that there is anything we can do to earn God’s love and forgiveness or anything we can do to lose it?  Does He truly cherish us?

There is nothing we could possibly do to earn God’s love and forgiveness.  “There is none righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10).  There is nothing good that dwells in us (Romans 7:18).  We were dead in trespasses and sins, walking according to the prince of the power of the air when God, “being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us” (Ephesians 2:4), made us alive together with Christ.  It is “by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).  God, because of His grace and mercy, grants His love and forgiveness freely.  And just as we cannot earn His love and forgiveness, we cannot lose it.  In terms of forgiveness, those sins are cast away as far as the east is from the west.  “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).  And in terms of His love:  “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).  That is some serious CHERISHING!

Q: What is the purpose of the ministry you founded—Colored in Christ?

The purpose of the ministry is to encourage people to color their lives with the perspective of Christ. Our lives shouldn’t reflect Christ on Sunday morning only.  Our entire lives, minds, and perspectives should be transformed by the power of Christ.  If we filter all of life through that Christ-lens, we will glorify God and fulfill our purpose on the earth.

Q: What would you like your readers to take away from reading Cherished?

I would love for readers to walk away from Cherished with a freeing picture of God’s unconditional love for them, no matter what they’ve done or where they’ve been.  I want them to know that God can still use them, that He wants to use them, as a marvelous trophy of His grace.

www.kimcashtate.com

“Tate’s amazing ability to connect with the reader on both personal and spiritual levels elevates this novel far above the rest. Those looking for hope and encouragement will find it on the pages of this superb book.”

~ Romantic Times Magazine review of Cherished

Q&A with Bob Westfall,

Q: Do you believe that God wants us to experience joy while here on this earth?

I believe God provided a very clear blueprint for us to experience deep, intimate joy personally and in companionship with Him, now. This principle does have broad application and immediate potential. Just look at what happened when the “master” turned his attention to the one servant who had received one talent and buried it. The Bible says, “Immediately he took from the one and gave it to the one who had ten.” He wants us to invest that which we have been given by Him on earth and now. How many times have we seen people who have faithfully invested their talents and seen deep personal joy as a result? Just ask each person written about in The Fulfillment Principle…

Q: How can we discover the talents that God has given us?

It starts with identifying how God uniquely created you and me as individuals. Then, as you and I go about everyday life, investing ourselves in things we deeply enjoy and becoming aware of those moments, we may just identify a talent. But, we can’t overlook our surroundings, because God has a habit of placing people and circumstances around us and is simply wondering whether or not we will respond and invest in those lives and opportunities. A school teacher that read the book early on said, “I now have a whole new perspective about the lives God has entrusted into my care this school year.” Yes! That is it! Or a business mentor that works with entrepreneurs. He determined that he now would bring the parable of the talents into his mentoring strategy with his clients! YES! That is exactly what we are talking about.

Q: Can we really experience God “entrusting more to us on earth”? Isn’t that just reserved for heaven?

Absolutely! Yes, we can experience this on earth! The subject that gains the most conversation is “on earth.” And I must ask this question. When we witness an employee, for example, who really stewards his responsibilities well and produces extraordinary results, generally speaking, what happens with that employee? Generally, he is rewarded with more responsibility and more income. As we move through life and are faithful in small things, we can watch as God begins to bring more and more opportunity to us.

Q: Why does God ask us to be faithful in the little things before entrusting us with more?

First of all, I think we can look all around the world and find examples of people who have stumbled into riches and glory that aren’t connected to God’s kingdom and favor. As we look at the specific talents God has invested in us and how He uniquely created us and then invest those talents in people’s lives, I believe God becomes quite confident we are capable of handling much, much more. Candidly, I also think it is wise for Him to allow us to grow in our faith in His calling on our lives—wise of Him to allow us to mature in that calling—and beautiful as He allows that to mature us in our faith and in our relationship with Him.

Q: How are our talents tied into God’s joy? 

Because they weren’t our talents to begin with. As we read the parable Jesus says, “He called His servants together and entrusted His talents to His servants.” The reason He is so full of joy is that we have managed His talent that He crafted from Himself into our being especially for us. That to me is the heart of the joy He and we experience.

Q: What is your dream for The Fulfillment Principle?

I believe many view God as a critical, harsh, angry, judgmental and uncaring Lord. This parable teaches that He cares so deeply about us that, first and foremost, He created us each uniquely. Then, given how He has created us each uniquely, He has then crafted talents that are finely woven from His being into our being. To me, that demonstrates a very loving, intimate and passionate God who cares about us to the core of our being. One of my goals is that, through this book, many will say, “This has provoked me to view God in a much different manner, one that is intimately beautiful.” The dream of my life and my wife’s life is to “make God’s name magnificently famous.” My prayer is this little book would inspire such in so many people’s lives. Secondly, I pray that there will be folks out there that resist the urge to bury their talents for risk of failure or that those that may have, in fact, already buried their talents will go exhume them and pursue their talents with every measure of purpose.

Q&A with Medad Birungi,

Q: Can you tell us a little about how you came up with the title Tombstones and Banana Trees?

I was born under a banana tree. Mother had to hide there when she went into labor as my father would not pay for her to go to the hospital. He wanted my birth to be quickly followed by my death as he was full of hatred and anger. Much of my early life was marked by tombstones. I felt like life was over when my father abandoned me, my mother, sisters and brothers. And when my sister was murdered, I became a raging civil war—full of death and thoughts of revenge. But, just like Lazarus, I found out that tombstones are not what they seem. When Jesus arrested me, he challenged me to forgive others—even though they had wounded me so badly that I had wanted to kill them. This type of revolutionary forgiveness has changed not just my life, but the lives of many, many others.

Q: In your book, you share with your readers the story of your childhood. Can you tell us a little about the first six years of your life?

I was very poor. I grew up in southwest Uganda—an area known as the Switzerland of Africa. It is very beautiful there, but for me the beauty was clouded out. My father had many wives and hated my mother—his first wife—with cruelty. He beat us all and eventually we fought back. He left us, but by abandoning us he left us with no food, no money, no possessions and no hope for the future.

Q: As a teenager, you were filled with anger and a desire for revenge, yet God was working in your life. When you chose to accept Christ, why do you think that you needed to forgive your father and others who had abused and mistreated you?

In the East African Revival of the 1930s, public confession of sin was considered essential for any Christian—especially a new one. That tradition was still in effect when I accepted Jesus as my savior, and I am glad that I confessed. Not only did it result in many people getting saved, but it helped to free me from the guilt of all the wrong things I had done. Most of all, we need to forgive because that is what we were commended to do… and for good reason: unforgiveness is a cancer.

Q: Do you think forgiveness for acts of extreme abuse and murder are required by God? Can this type of forgiveness be accomplished without God’s supernatural power?

Forgiveness for acts of extreme abuse and murder are absolutely required by God. In the Lord’s prayer, Jesus taught us to pray: “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive others.” Jesus also prayed on the cross: “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” Stephen also forgave those who were stoning him to death. God forgave David when he killed Uriah and he forgave Paul who killed many Christians. To walk in forgiveness and grace, we must release others through the forgiveness allowed by grace through Christ Jesus. God promises to forgive us unconditionally ALL our sins with confession that is present with absolute repentance. We are to forgive others unconditionally for ALL sins also. Otherwise, Christianity will lose meaning and vengeance, genocide, civil war and more extreme abuse and murder revenging for past sins will be committed.

This type of forgiveness cannot be accomplished without God’s supernatural power. Forgiveness that is genuine and unconditional can ONLY be experienced by the supernatural love of God flowing through the heart by the Holy Spirit. This power comes only by humility and prayer, strength and the unconditional love given to us by God.

Q: When you made the choice to forgive, your life was not the only one affected. Can you please share with us how that forgiveness went on to affect your family and the community around you?

Forgiveness is a choice, but you cannot choose the consequences. When I chose to forgive my father, my stepmothers and some of my relatives, I also chose to do restitution and sort things out with them. This was very hard and frightening, but it brought healing to all of us. Forgiveness gave me unconditional love for my relatives and family members. We helped our father when he got sick by taking him to the hospital, caring for him for seven months and footing all the medical bills. He reconciled with my mother after 22 years of separation. He came back home and was reconciled with us. We also reconciled with our relatives and stepmothers/brothers/sisters when he brought his family back for a reconciliation meeting and made me a heir to his household.

There was great repentance, forgiveness and reconciliations in the family and community around. Deep hatred and deep rooted bitterness were removed and we became a loving and reconciled community. My mother received their children and my younger stepsisters had their schooling at our village school. I also started paying school fees for the grandchildren of those who murdered my sister and cared for those who had hurt us when we were abandoned by our father. My sisters forgave those who raped them. Relationships were healed and restored and our home became a center for inner healing and a Christian home cell church. People still meet in my mother’s house today for weekly fellowship. Jesus visited the village.

Q: You have established a charity by the name of World Shine Ministries and a portion of the proceeds fromTombstones and Banana Trees will go to benefit its work. Can you tell us about the ministry of WSM and how our listeners can become involved?

World Shine Ministries is an inter-denominational, non-governmental, Christian organization. It works to spread the knowledge of the Christian gospel, to relieve poverty and suffering and to assist needy children and students with education so that their conditions of life can be improved. We have a school, World Shine Foundation School, in a remote community called Rwentobo where we have 510 disadvantaged children/children at risk (orphans, street children and children from homes of domestic violence) whom we look after. Among the children are 87 Moslems and others with a background of Christianity or African traditional religions.

World Shine Ministries in Uganda is also involved in:

• Evangelism
• Pastor’s conferences
• Christian broadcasting
• Working with women and fighting domestic violence; advocacy for women emancipation
• Sponsoring orphans’ schooling
• Supporting HIV/AIDS widows
• HIV/AIDS education
• Poverty eradication
• Camps and conferences for young people

Listeners can be involved by: sponsoring a child ($20 per month), supporting the school financially, sending a goat to a widow ($50), supporting WSM activities, volunteering, coming as a team to support in building, performing medical or social work, teaching and conducting conferences, children’s camps or evangelism or becoming a short/long term missionary.

If you would like to support World Shine Ministries, please visit www.worldshinefoundation.org for more information.

Tombstones and Banana Trees: A True Story of Revolutionary Forgiveness
by Medad Birungi with Craig Borlase
David C Cook/July 2011
ISBN: 978-0-7814-0502-7/208 pages/paperback/$14.99
www.davidccook.com and www.worldshinefoundation.org