An interview with Ed Welch, author of 

What are some questions we can ask ourselves to determine if we are being too controlled by the opinions of others?    

The list is a long one here. Am I angry? hopeless? self-protective? afraid? ashamed? depressed? withdrawing? Do I lie to make myself look better? Do I try to attach myself to the celebrity or popular person with the hope of enhancing my own reputation?

Can you explain the term “peer pressure” and what it really means?  

I don’t hear this word as much as I once did. It usually means that we are willing to do things we wouldn’t normally do as a way to be accepted by others. There is a good kind of peer pressure, when a youth group really wants to know Jesus better, but that’s not the way it usually happens. We have a lot of the Old Testament biographies in us, and in those cases when a person who belonged to God met a person who loved his or her idols, the follower of God started following the idols and not vice versa. Of course, in the age of the Spirit that can be different.

You say that so much of life comes down to three questions. Can you tell us what they are and how we can find the answers to them?

The questions are Who is God? Who am I? and Who are you?  The answers can be a little difficult to discover. Most of us know the correct theological answers to these questions, but there are the correct ones and then there are the ones we really believe. That why the topic of the opinions of other people is so handy. It can surprise us with our REAL answers to those questions.

So what are some of the real answers?

Who is God? Picky, distant, nice but irrelevant.

Who am I? Needy, I must find an identity in myself – who I am and what I do? The problem is that God isn’t very relevant and other people don’t solve the problem because I am a never ending hole that is looking to others so I can feel okay about myself.

Who are you? A threat, a god.

If we use these three basic questions, the question about God tends to be irrelevant, which is at the very heart of the problem. The normal answer is, he loves me [but so what?]. Why doesn’t his love make that much difference? It’s because other people have become our substitute god. The only way that God’s love becomes relevant is for “Why do I care?” to become a confession, as in “Lord, why do I care so much about me and my desires?” That takes an ordinary desire [for approval, love, acceptance, belonging . . . ] that has grown to extraordinary proportions so that it is a ruling or even idolatrous desire, and it brings that desire back to being an ordinary one in which other people’s poor opinions can hurt us, but not control us.

And who are other people? We want to love them just a little more than be loved by them.

You write a lot in your book about worship. Tell us why this is such an important theme and how it applies to the issue of people pleasing.

Worship seems like a once-a-Sunday thing, but Scripture puts life in either/or terms: either we love God or something else, we trust in God or something else, we bow down to God or something else. Bowing down or worshipping is a vivid and accurate way to describe what is always taking place in our hearts. The word control gets at it. What controls us is our god. What controls us is what we adore and worship.

How can recognizing everyone in our lives—acquaintances, loved ones, friends and enemies—as FAMILY change our perspectives and the way we live with and think about others?

We can have wretched families that are more like enemies than families, but most of us are familiar with relationships in which we love people freely. We don’t have to put on airs, we are always wondering what they are thinking about us. Instead, we simply love and enjoy them. When we are interested, we are more interested in them than we are in what they think of us. That recognizable experience moves us toward a way out from this particular human struggle. At the end of the day, love God and love your neighbor is where we will find lots of answers.

About the Author: Edward T. Welch, M.Div., Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). He has counseled for over twenty-five years and is the best-selling author of many books, including When People Are Big and God Is Small; Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave; Blame It on the Brain?; Depression: A Stubborn Darkness; Crossroads: A Step-by-Step Guide Away from Addiction; Running Scared: Fear, Worry and the God of Rest; and When I Am Afraid: A Step-by-Step Guide Away from Fear and Anxiety. He and his wife Sheri have two daughters, two sons-in-law and four grandchildren.

 What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care?: Answers to the Big Questions of Life by Edward T. Welch
New Growth Press/November 2011
ISBN 978-1-935273-86-8/160 pages/paperback/$12.99
www.newgrowthpress.com ~ http://www.ccef.org/blog

]]> http://christianbookwormreviews.com/2012/01/interview-ed-welch-author-of-what-do-you-think-of-me-why-do-i-care/feed/ 0 http://christianbookwormreviews.com/2011/11/interview-tricia-goyer/ http://christianbookwormreviews.com/2011/11/interview-tricia-goyer/#comments Fri, 11 Nov 2011 21:00:52 +0000 Laura http://christianbookwormreviews.com/?p=6396 What inspired you to write Remembering You?

In 2000 I was on vacation with friends when I heard an heart-breaking story. For those familiar with World War II history, concentration camps such as Auschwitz and Bergen-Belsen are well discussed. But there are also many lesser-known concentration camps. One of them is Mauthausen, named after the nearby village.

As early as 1940, prisoners started arriving at the small train station at Mauthausen. A full two years before the bombing of Pearl Harbor, this once peaceful community was already experiencing the horrors of war. And by January 1941, the Mauthausen-Gusen camps became the only ‘Category I’ camps in Third Reich history, meaning “camp of no return.” The first American US GIs at the camp were the 41st Recon Squadron, 11th Armored Division, Patton’s 3rd Army. The men opened the gates and brought the prisoners what they never expected—freedom—followed by food, clothes and the care of medics.

When the camp’s historian, Martha, told me about these men, I knew I wanted to meet them and to hear their stories.You see, my grandfather was also a WWII veteran, but I’d never taken time to sit down with him and hear his stories. I was afraid the stories would upset him. I didn’t want him to have to think about those times any more. It was hard for me to connect my sweet grandfather with someone who fought in war so long ago. What I forgot was that he was young once, and his fight helped secure my freedom.

Meeting the men of the 11th Armored Division, I was given a second chance. I saw their tears and quivering chins as they told me the stories of battles in Bastogne and the Siegfried Line. I saw their drooped shoulders and heavy hearts as they explained what they lived through when they liberated Mauthausen and its subcamps. I’d lost my grandfather, but God gave me 100 more grandpas. What a gift. And because of my relationship with them I knew I wanted to share that in a book. Ava’s story in Remembering You came out of that. Her growing relationship with her grandfather is similar to my relationship with the men I interviewed.

Give us a brief overview of the plot-line and main characters in Remembering You. Did you have a favorite character? If so, who and why?

35-year-old Ava Andrews’ dream job is interrupted by an unusual request–fulfill her 84-year-old grandfather’s last wish by joining him on a battle site tour of Europe . Ava is sure her boss will refuse her request. But, instead, he gives her a directive of his own–to videotape the tour and send it back as mini-segments for the show she produces.

As if juggling these two things isn’t hard enough, Ava is soon surprised again … twice. First, Ava and Grandpa Jack arrive in Europe , only to discover the tour is cancelled. Unwilling to let down her grandfather or her boss, Ava and Grandpa Jack head out on their own. Then, while they’re on their way, the pair soon meet up with Paul, her grandpa’s best friend, and his grandson Dennis. The same Dennis who just happens to be Ava’s first love.

Before she knows it, Ava and Dennis are swept down memory lane as they visit the sites that are discussed in the history books. And even though Ava’s videotaping old soldiers, she can see their youth, their hopes and fears, and their pride in their eyes. Soon Ava learns the trip isn’t just for them … it’s for her too–especially for her heart.

As for a special character, I especially loved Grandpa Jack. In so many ways he reminds me of my grandpa who passed away in 1999.

 In what ways do you think this book speaks to those with loved ones serving in the military or who have served?

So many times we don’t know how to relate to those who served. We care but we’re afraid to ask too many questions. We are worried we’re going to stir up bad memories. The truth is that those memories are there. I hope it will encourage family members to sit down and ask questions. I hope it helps family members relate to each other. I think it’ll speak to their hearts because they can relate.

You mention you’ve interviewed hundreds of World War II Veterans about their experiences in preparation for writing this novel. What were some of your most memorable interviews?

The very first interview I did was with Arthur and Charlie. They wanted to be interviewed together. As they talked they finished each other’s sentences. They only saw each other ones a year–at their reunion–but their friendship was still strong because of what they experienced together 60 years prior. I also enjoyed meeting Robert Winter. I was traveling the country doing interviews of men from the 11th Armored Division and one of my husband’s co-workers said, “I think that was my Grandpa’s division. He lives here in town.” Sure enough, it was his division. He lived only 5 miles from me. When I went to his house I said, “I had no idea someone from the 11th Armored lived so close. Robert had read about my interviews in his divisions newsletter. He just nodded, smiled and said, “I knew you’d figure it out sometime.” I thought that was great!

Did you discover anything about World War II when you were researching the book that surprised you?

I was surprised by how much I misunderstood German citizens. I met a man who grew up as a child outside of Gusen concentration camp. He talked about how his family tried to help the prisoners but a Nazi officer put a gun to his head and said if they didn’t stop he’d kill their whole family. They stopped feeding the people but they didn’t stop caring or praying. It made me realize that many German citizens were victims too. This is something I didn’t understand until I started interviewing many who lived through the horror.

At the beginning of the novel, Ava wrestles with her own desire to get a good story for her network versus her Grandpa Jack’s more private quest to reconcile some of his memories. Did you feel this tension yourself between wanting to research a good story while respecting the privacy of some of the veterans you interviewed?

Great question! I absolutely feel this way. In my mind I know what type of information I want to hear and sometimes the veterans want to talk about other things. What I’ve discovered is that I just need to be patient and listen. These veterans aren’t there for me to get gritty stuff or fact for my novels, rather I am there for them. God wants me just to listen and care. Sometimes the veterans share things I can use. Sometimes they won’t share the really hard stuff because there is too much pain. I listen and I use what I can in my novels, but mostly I just become a friend to them.

In your “Author’s Note” at the end of the novel, you include a wonderful narrative about a girl named Hana. Would you share it with us? How is this an example of some of the themes that thread through “Remembering You?”

After I wrote From Dust and Ashes I got an email from a woman named Hana who was looking for a US medic who saved her during the war. I only had the contact information for one medic, but I passed his name and phone number on, hoping LeRoy would be able to connect her with the right man. Well, it turned out LeRoy WAS the medic who saved her life! How amazing is that?! This reunion inspired one of the threads in Remembering You. The theme of “remembering” ties into all the character’s journey. There are fellow soldiers we remember, and past loves, but there are also those we impact and wonder, “What ever happened to her …”

What message do you hope your readers will take away from “Remembering You?

I hope first they’ve be entertained and be swept away in its pages. I also hope that readers will be encouraged to listen to those God places in their lives. We don’t truly understand until we listen, and we can’t love completely until we understand.

Talk about “thin places” and how that concept works itself out in The Baker’s Wife.

Thin places is a Celtic Christian idea that there are actual locations in the world where the veil between the physical and spiritual worlds is so thin that you can see through it. So far in my novels, thin places are metaphors rather than locations. (But in my next novel, House of Mercy, I explore a fictional place that might be described as “thin.”) In The Baker’s Wife, the thin place is Audrey’s capacity to help another person through suffering by sharing that suffering. In Christian circles we talk about these kinds of things almost glibly, as though we’re waxing poetic about helping each other out. For Audrey, however, she actually physically experiences the suffering of another person. It’s hyper-empathy, and it’s pretty frightening. But it’s a powerful gift that ultimately saves lives.

How do we see evidence of the supernatural in daily life?

In his wonderful book Rumors of Another World, Philip Yancey writes: “For the Christian, the greatest disorder of the planet is that it disguises the true nature of things. The natural world, so evident to our senses, draws a curtain across spiritual reality. Those who believe in another world keep pointing … and still skeptics cannot see past the surface.” And later: “It does not surprise me … that some disbelieve the reality of an unseen world, especially in an age that excels at mastering the visible world, an age dominated by images. For many, God cannot possibly exist unless he makes himself visible–and God does not perform on our terms.” I see evidence of the supernatural world in my daily life because I believe it exists. I believe this because the Bible is saturated with awareness of God’s active role in the world, and I believe the Bible is not merely a piece of ancient literature. I also believe the spiritual world exists because trying to understand my own humanity, my own human experience, without a spiritual component is impossible for me. It makes no sense. I believe God is still active in our world today, and in my life, and so I look for Him in it. I interpret events in light of the possibility that there might be a supernatural component to them. “Seek and you will find,” Jesus said. My sightings of the supernatural might not measure up as “evidence” in the legal forensic sense that we use today. And it might look different from someone else’s experience with the spiritual world, but for me, none of these things negate its reality.

How do the principles in this plot ring true for you? What lessons can we take away from The Baker’s Wife?

My amazing editor, Ami McConnell, stated the takeaway value of this novel best: “Empathy is a gift; we ignore it at our own peril. We follow it at a cost to ourselves.” I hope readers will find The Baker’s Wife to be a memorable exploration of what it means to love your enemies by sharing in their suffering and experiencing it as your own. In this story, the protagonists avert tragedy and save lives because they are motivated by compassion rather than by the need to be justified. This is a terrific challenge to me. Sometimes I am guilty of “compassion exhaustion” and fail to actively lift the burdens of friends and strangers–they don’t even have to be enemies for me to fail them! So I was writing about compassion that I have often received but have been stingy in giving. I hope my capacity for compassion will only expand.

How do your novels differ from others in this genre?

Many of the supernatural suspense novels today are authored by men, and I hope I bring a feminine intuition to my works that these might not have. I’m interested in layering the exciting elements of adventure, mystery, and paranormal with themes that soften the hard edges: compassion, mercy, forgiveness, and so on.

Your novels tend to have strong female protagonists. Why is that important to you?

I suppose I am working out through my protagonists some aspirations about the person I would like to become: flawed but strong, wounded but resilient, capable of maturing. I think male and female readers alike admire strong women who are transparent about their flaws. Somehow this makes them more godly, more inspirational.

What’s been some of your favorite feedback from readers?

This week I got a phone call from a long-distance acquaintance who was reading The Baker’s Wife. We are friends, but the distance prevents us from frequent contact. She said, “I could really use an Audrey to talk to right now.” (Audrey is The Baker’s Wife’s protagonist, an unusually compassionate woman.) My friend had just lost a beloved pet rabbit to a brain tumor and didn’t know I’d also lost a pet rabbit years ago, as well as other dear animals. I was in a unique position to comfort her and couldn’t help but feel like this was a divine appointment. Since writing The Baker’s Wife I’ve become more aware of opportunities to comfort people, opportunities I might have missed before. It was meaningful to have a reader want the kind of connection a character like Audrey has to offer.

 What advice can you give to aspiring authors?

Succeeding as a novelist isn’t only about writing a great story. These days you must also have business savvy–an understanding of the industry, of the marketplace, of your responsibility to the successful marketing of the book. The publisher’s role is changing as traditional methods of distribution and retail models shift. Audiences are fragmenting and target readers are harder to find. Authors carry a heavier and heavier workload in this Facebook age where they are expected to be accessible and transparent. So while you master the craft of storytelling, master the business too.

VIEW TRANSCRIPT BELOW

Tyora: Welcome, this is Tyora Moody with Tywebbin Virtual Book Tours. We are delighted to have as our guest today, Christian Fiction author, Patti Lacy.

Just a tidbit about Patti. Patti, is a graduate from Baylor University with a Bachelors in Education. She taught at Harltand Community College in Normal Illinois until she retired in 2006 pursue writing full time. She and her husband Allan have two grown children. Patti, thank you for the opportunity to interview you today.

Patti: Well, thank you, Ty, you’re always so great and gracious and I just appreciate the invitation.

Tyora:  Oh not a problem. I enjoy being able to do virtual book tours with you and definitely enjoy the opportunity to introduce your latest book Reclaiming Lily to new readers as well as to readers who know about your former titles. Patty, this is your fourth book – is that correct?

Patti: That’s right.

Tyora: Okay. Tell us what are your other book titles?

Patti: My first novel is, An Irish Woman’s Tale, and that came out with Kregel Publications in 2008 followed by What the Bayou Saw’the next year, and then in January of this year 2011 Kregel published The Rhythm of Secrets and now on October 1st, Bethany House will release Reclaiming Lily.

Tyora: Awesome. Tell us a little bit about background behind Reclaiming Lily. I like that title ‘Reclaiming Lily’. Who is Lily?

Patti: Lily is the Chinese sister. One of the lost daughters of China and as I became more interested in China because my parents lived there as missionaries for two years, I found out that following the cultural revolution there was a one child policy placed on families. And because of the desire of many families to have a son because of China’s patriarchal bans, families will either abort children or abandon female babies on river banks, in dark alleys, and some on orphanage steps and ‘Reclaiming Lily’ is based on the life of one of these lost daughters of China – a little girl named Lily.

Tyora:  So I understand you said your parents were missionaries in China?

Patti: Yes.

Tyora: And so you actually, you took a trip to China yourself as well for research purposes. Is that correct?

Patti: I did last May.

Tyora: Tell us a little bit about that trip. How was the cultural experience for you?

Patti: The cultural experience blew me away. I had a lot of misconceptions about China even though I had read about 20 research books and one was that religion was outlawed by the communist government and I actually went into a Christian church there were Philip Ansey preached. And saw people wearing crossed and freely carried my Bible around and didn’t feel any problems with that. And another misconception is China is dirty and I saw more Mercedes and haute couture clothes in Beijing than I thought I have seen in Houston and other big cities in the U.S. and I also saw a people that loved their children and a people that struggling with the one child policy now and changes are being implemented in China to try to deal with not only with the orphans in the orphanages but with the fact that some couples would like to have more than one child.

Tyora: Wow, that’s great. You did break a couple of myths that I thought about China as well. Well, you say you were able to walk around and carry around your Bible? I would I guess there are some differences in the Chinese culture in how they practice Christianity over in the East versus the U.S. over here in the West. Do you see any of those differences or…

Patti: Well Ty, I was totally limited because I speak no Chinese [Laughs]. I did have a friend that’s a Chinese national and she was my tour guide and my banker and my translator. She is not a Christian and she did take me to churches where westerners and Chinese with foreign papers were allowed to worship. The Chinese issue on religion and Christianity is about as complex as their government right now and being kind of a very capitalistic place that is called communism.
They have three self churches which are supposedly Christian churches ran by the government and I’ve been told that they do not practice certain things in the Bible and are not allowed to talk about them but the people attend those churches do use the Bible. So they are able to read. And there are also probably what you’ve heard of and what I assumed all churches in China were the underground churches which are house churches that have been persecuted in some areas but in some areas they haven’t.

And Christianity Today recently did an article to sum the complexities of religion in China and how many Chinese don’t want their churches to be an extension of American religion and they would like to keep some of their own more ways such as not necessarily ancestral worship that admiration of ancestors and sticking to some old practices.

Tyora: Hmm, that’s very interesting. Wow. So now you went over to China to kinda learn more about the Chinese adoption process. Is that correct?

Patti: I did Ty, unfortunately I was not able to get into an orphanage. I made many attempts to make contact by email and phone before I went and I had no luck whatsoever and was kinda later told that a westerner that had writer on her Visa would never be able to get into an orphanage without many more connections than I have.

Tyora: Oh I see. Okay let’s go back to ‘Reclaiming Lily’ a little bit. You told us who Lily was, who are some of the other major characters in the book?

Patti: Well the main character is Dr. Kai Chang, who is the sister who actually laid her younger sister on the orphanage steps and so for a decade Dr. Chang has carried around this guilt that she actually gave away the precious jewel of their family and her mother’s dying wish is for her to reclaim their sister for their Chang honor, and so Kai as a young girl makes a vow with her sisters to become a doctor and she actually does get admitted into Harvard Medical School. She comes to America though not just for her education and for profession but to look for that daughter that has been adopted by an American pastor and his wife.

And that American’s pastor’s wife Gloria is another key figure in the story. See you actually have kinda a triangle of two women who thinks they know what’s best of this little girl, that’s Chinese, and they’re both kind of afraid of each other and in the case of the pastor’s wife she actually you know kind of hates the Chinese sister because she’s not doing very well as a parent and she wonders if China would have been a better place for her daughter and she’s not able to admit that to her pastor husband or really to anyone. So that’s kind of a lot of the inner conflict is that the American mother of Joy – who which is the adopted name of Lily – really doesn’t feel like she’s been a good mother and so has resentment and fear of the Chinese sister.

Tyora: Sounds like two women and two cultures definitely clashed there.

Patti: Colliding [Laughs].

Tyora:  Colliding [Laughs]. Well if you don’t mind, can we get into something about Lily, whose American name is Joy in the book, what are some of the things that’s kinda troubling her that’s causing a little bit of trouble between the American mother and the Chinese sister in trying to come together?

Patti: Well Ty, I tried to examine something that psychologists and sociologists are wondering about, what effect there will be on a child that is taken from a very rich culture at a young age and transported you know from the East to the West and kind of you know arranged in another family. And even if the family is secure and happy, is there some price for removing a child from their culture and I think the Native American culture has examined this and many Americans are aware of this kind of debate. And so Joy as she grows up is not really embraced by the Caucasian community in which her family lives.

The Christian church which they go to very much sees her as an outsider; other little girls don’t wanna play with her. Part of that is because Joy is kind of nerdy. She’s smart. She doesn’t gravitate towards the thing that’s kinda the in-crowd likes, you know, the pre-teen girls that like boys and pop music, and so she’s kinda already an outsider and as she grows and becomes a teenager she doesn’t see anyone else with her almond eyes and her skin color and she really starts having problems with how she looks and she really starts having a lot of angst.

And so, she actually shoplift and acts out on her behavior and she tries to get attention by hanging around with trying to get into a gang and trying to be a goth to some extent. She dyes her hair kind of in, you know, a purple color which for that time period – the nineties – in Texas would definitely be, you know, a different group – not the norm of the high school. And then as kind of a last resort she actually attempts a cutting episode – a self mutilation.

Tyora: Hmm. Hmm. Wow, this sounds like another very well developed book from you where you’re bringing forth women or characters who are definitely in pain. And I like the way you always in your books bring forth the cultural part of a person as well. So I’m gonna go ahead and kinda wrap up this interview. I definitely like the fact that you were able to take the time out to talk to me today and can you tell us where people can find you online or what other things are coming up for you as Reclaiming Lily starts to come out and people start to see it on bookshelves and get it on online.

Patti: I’d be happy to tell you Ty, I love to have readers contact me especially through Facebook. Everyday I post an art piece which I try to pick paintings around the world and from different eras and art periods and that kind of started when I talked humanities and some of my students still kept in touched and talked about how they enjoyed looking at the paintings that they had thought were so awful when they were in class but they find they actually miss them.

And I also try to post some inspirational piece everyday on Facebook and then you can also visit www.pattilacy.com/blog. I post once a week and I usually just post about life as a writer or what’s it like to live in Normal, Illinois which is where I live. And those are the main ways to find me.

I also will be doing a Facebook party and they’ll be giving away a nook. So that’s gonna be coming up in the next couple of weeks and then the fabulous Ty Moody is doing a blog tour and there’s also Christian Fiction Blog Alliance tour in October. So there’s lots of chances to win books and other prizes and some gift cards and so I really hope that I connect with some new readers and some old friends.

Tyora: Awesome. Well I do wanna thank you again for choosing Tywebbin to work on this virtual book tour and definitely for those of you out there you can visit Patti online at pattilacy.com and as she said you can find her on Facebook. Patti, I’m looking forward to your virtual book tour where you will share your experiences about writing this book, going to China, and I’m looking forward to seeing what the readers have to say about Reclaiming Lily as I’m sure you are too.

Patti: Thank you Ty, you do a wonderful job.

Follow the Reclaiming Lily Virtual Book Tour

The Secret of Fearing God
By Patricia Raybon

God is not safe. That’s the terrifying and wondrous truth. And most believers fight that truth. Sometime for entire lifetimes. Or, in my case, I dared to ask: How could the God who is Peace, Love and Joy be the same God who inspires my fear? It didn’t add up. But I was ignorant. And the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.

So I had to make peace, as the writer of Hebrews puts it, that it’s “a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” He’s not our buddy, as another writer said. Instead, as God Himself declared in Deuteronomy 32:39, “I am the one who kills and give life; I am the one who wounds and heals; no one delivers from my power!”

Only when I accept the terrifying truth of God’s real danger – danger to sin and to Satan and to all who give in to Satan’s ways – will I understand the central fact of godly knowledge: That if it’s terrifying to fall into the hands of the God, it’s more terrifying not to fall into His hands at all.

This point was dramatized with great insight by theologian C.S. Lewis in his classic children’s story, The Chronicles of Narnia. When the children in the story probe their host about Aslan the Lion, they ask: “Is he dangerous?” The obvious answer is: Yes.

He’s a lion. Of course, he’s not safe. He’s dangerous, in fact. Just like God—who is, indeed, Almighty God. With omnipotent power. With infinite might. With purifying justice. So, yes. He’s terrifyingly dangerous. And absolutely not safe. But the children’s host adds the corresponding truth:

“But he’s good.”

Knowing this, we can rise up terrifying and wondrous journey of being His children. Knowing God can’t be controlled. Knowing God won’t compromise. Knowing God isn’t safe. Then falling at His feet in awe and gladness at being chosen for safety in Him.

Award-winning author Patricia Raybon’s newest book is the One Year® daily devotional, God’s Great Blessings, which includes this reflection on reverence. She is also author of two acclaimed memoirs, My First White Friend and I Told the Mountain to Move. She also collaborated with calligrapher Timothy Botts in his upcoming gift book honoring African American spirituals, Bound for Glory. Learn more at her website: PatriciaRaybon.Com

Early marriage might not be a problem; instead, it might just be a solution.

In Young and in Love, Pastor Ted Cunningham boldly suggests that early marriage is not as harmful as many believe and even offers the solution to staying sexually pure. He guides young adults through the arguments against early marriage and then reveals the secrets to creating a healthy, successful, and life-long relationship in early adulthood.

Q:  Over the past century, the national average for marrying age has increased and has continued to creep upwards.  In the 1950’s, for example, marrying at 20 was the norm.  Why are that many people waiting until they are older to marry?

The two primary reasons for delaying marriage today are fear of having a marriage like their parents and prolonged adolescence.  First, mom and dad may have been committed but did not enjoy one another.  Second, they grew up in homes where they were given too much privilege and not enough responsibility.  They were not prepared or trained to be a husband or wife.

Q:  Why has marriage become discouraged at a young age?  Do you think the Bible encourages young love?

Young marriage is discouraged because parents and the young adults themselves know they are not ready for marriage.  The Bible has two stages of life: childhood and adulthood.  There is no in-between.  When you left home, you cleaved to your spouse (Gen. 2:24).  Marriage and adulthood are linked.

Q:  Do you think the struggle our generation has with sexual impurity can be linked to the fact that marriages are being delayed?  Do you think that young adults would be more sexually pure if they married earlier?

It would certainly give them more hope.  After they reach puberty, we implore them to wait 15+ years.  We teach them to delay sex until marriage.  Most are having sex and delaying marriage.

Q:  Why do you think that “purity” talks are failing with Christian youth?

We’ve been teaching them how to honor purity, not marriage.  The Scripture calls us to honor marriage and purity is just one way to do that (Hebrews 13:4).  We need to prepare them to be husbands and wives.  Purity is a lifelong pursuit for all Christians.  It is not an issue for singles alone.

Q:  You were 21 when you first called home to tell your parents about Amy, who would soon become your wife.  How did your parents respond to your news?  Were her parents supportive?

Our parents were more than excited because they knew we were ready for the responsibility.

Q:  At what age do you encourage marriage?  When do you believe that someone is too young?

For starters, you must be a legal adult.  The youngest couple I have ever married was 19.  Their life circumstances forced them into adulthood at an early age and they understood and embraced responsibility.  I’ve married thirtysomethings with less maturity than this couple.  Again, the issue for me is not age, but maturity.

Q:  Can you give us some examples of unnecessary and necessary delays for marriage?

Necessary delays would include finishing high school and seeking your parents’ blessing.  Going after mom and dad’s blessing is a huge mark of maturity and a fantastic transition from childhood to adulthood.

Unnecessary delays would include waiting for a fat bank account, finishing college or graduate degrees, getting settled into the perfect job or exploring an extended season of self-exploration (independence).

Q:  Many people think you should be more financially secure, for example, because money is such a big issue in marriages.  In this economy, that may not even be possible, but how big of an impact does that have on a young marriage?

Plan on a poor or modest start.  That may mean coffee from gas stations, used cars and hand me down furniture.  You may need to start with flip phones.  Delay iPhones, iPads amd Macbooks, not marriage.

About the Author

Ted Cunningham is the founding pastor of Woodland Hills Family Church in Branson, Missouri. He is the co-founder of Two Ignite, a local church movement created to strengthen marriage through adventure. Ted is a speaker with the Smalley Relationship Center and has co-authored four books with Dr. Gary Smalley: The Language of Sex, From Anger to Intimacy, As Long As We Both Shall Live, and Great Parents, Lousy Lovers. He has been a guest on Focus on the Family, Life Today, and Moody Radio. He is a graduate of Liberty University and Dallas Theological Seminary.

Cunningham loves seeing lives changed, marriages rescued, and families saved. He met his wife Amy on a blind date at Liberty University and determined to marry her that night. Although he didn’t ask her then, she said “yes” to his proposal a year later. Now married for 15 years, they both love taking road trips and boating on Table Rock Lake with their two kids who reside with them in Branson, MO.

Young and in Love: Challenging the Unnecessary Delay of Marriage by Ted Cunningham
David C Cook/July 2011/ISBN: 978-0-7814-0447-1/224 pages/paperback/$14.99
www.davidccook.com ~ www.tedcunningham.com

Q & A for Kim Cash Tate,

Q: Cherished centers around the theme of forgiveness—forgiveness for ourselves and for others. Why do you believe forgiveness has such a great impact on our lives?

Forgiveness has a great impact on our lives because it’s freeing.  Prior to forgiving ourselves or others, we’re bound by whatever the thing is that we’re holding onto.  With regard to others, we may feel that we have a right to hold onto the offense committed against us.  We may even relish holding onto it.  But in reality, it’s a prison of bitterness.  With regard to ourselves, it’s painful to think you can never get beyond the shame of what you’ve done.  But the Lord offers us freedom from the weight of sin through forgiveness.  And when we forgive ourselves and others, we experience that same sense of freedom. We’re able to truly put the past behind us and walk in the newness of what’s ahead. Forgiveness has a great impact on our lives because we become more like Christ when we forgive.

Q: In your novel, you look at your characters’ dreams for their futures. Some of those dreams are given up only to be returned to them later. Other times, God changes the heart of the dreamer. How do you think God can change our perspective as we grow to know Him?

God is certainly in the business of changing perspective.  He totally changed my perspective as I grew to know Him.  He does it by aligning our hearts and minds with Him and His Word.  Often, our view is skewed by our own desires, our own thoughts as to our purpose in life, our own limitations as to what we think is possible, or even the thoughts, plans, and ideas that others, such as our parents, may have instilled in us.  But God has a purpose for us that He worked out before the foundation of the world, and as we grow to know Him, He reveals it to us.

Q: Your novels do not take away the consequences of the sins committed by your characters, yet your readers are able to see God’s remarkable restoration. Do you believe that God can use anyone to bring Him glory—no matter what sins they have committed in their pasts?

God can absolutely use anyone to bring Him glory, especially those who’ve committed the “greater sins.”  His work in the human heart is an absolute miracle.  I know how far I lived from God.  I wasn’t thinking about God or how I could please Him.  I was dead in my sins, as Ephesians tells us.  And yet, He saved me and made me alive through Christ.  He made me a new creation.  When a life is changed through Christ, that brings God glory.  For some, there’s a dramatic change.  Perhaps the sin was so public or so dark or so heinous that people thought there was no hope for the individual.  But that person can be forgiven and changed like everyone else, and the glory belongs to God.

Q: One of your characters has an affair with a married man in the church. Why do you think it was difficult for Christians in the church to view her as changed and to forgive her?

We have our own ideas as to which sins are greater and which are lesser.  The sin of adultery tends to be viewed as one of the greater sins, and if someone is “the other woman,” it’s hard to forgive the pain and hardship she had a hand in inflicting on the marriage.  If we forgive her, we may feel that we’ve betrayed the wife.  Or we may feel that we’re ignoring the seriousness of what occurred.  But all of our righteousness is as filthy rags.  There’s not one of us who has the right to decide that someone’s sin is outside the realm of forgiveness.  Thank God!  What an awesome God who freely forgives and casts our sins as far as the east is from the west.  He’s much freer with forgiveness than we are.

Q: Kelli hid the sin she had committed from her entire family and shouldered her guilt alone as so many Christians do.  What freedom do you think is experienced from bringing our mistakes out into the open?  

When we keep the sin hidden, it holds power over us.  She had already asked God’s forgiveness, but it still loomed large in her eyes.  The shame loomed large, and it accused her.  It also weighed on her. The enemy can do a lot of damage when we struggle alone.  But when we bring it out in the open, there’s freedom in gaining the support we didn’t think we’d have.  There’s freedom in gaining counsel. There’s freedom when others share truth with us from God’s Word to erase the lies the enemy told us when we were alone.  Often, when we bring things out in the open, we find out that others we know have struggled with the same thing.  We were meant to dwell together as a body, to support, encourage, and love on each other.  There’s immense freedom in operating as a body.

Q: Do you believe that there is anything we can do to earn God’s love and forgiveness or anything we can do to lose it?  Does He truly cherish us?

There is nothing we could possibly do to earn God’s love and forgiveness.  “There is none righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10).  There is nothing good that dwells in us (Romans 7:18).  We were dead in trespasses and sins, walking according to the prince of the power of the air when God, “being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us” (Ephesians 2:4), made us alive together with Christ.  It is “by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).  God, because of His grace and mercy, grants His love and forgiveness freely.  And just as we cannot earn His love and forgiveness, we cannot lose it.  In terms of forgiveness, those sins are cast away as far as the east is from the west.  “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).  And in terms of His love:  “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).  That is some serious CHERISHING!

Q: What is the purpose of the ministry you founded—Colored in Christ?

The purpose of the ministry is to encourage people to color their lives with the perspective of Christ. Our lives shouldn’t reflect Christ on Sunday morning only.  Our entire lives, minds, and perspectives should be transformed by the power of Christ.  If we filter all of life through that Christ-lens, we will glorify God and fulfill our purpose on the earth.

Q: What would you like your readers to take away from reading Cherished?

I would love for readers to walk away from Cherished with a freeing picture of God’s unconditional love for them, no matter what they’ve done or where they’ve been.  I want them to know that God can still use them, that He wants to use them, as a marvelous trophy of His grace.

www.kimcashtate.com

“Tate’s amazing ability to connect with the reader on both personal and spiritual levels elevates this novel far above the rest. Those looking for hope and encouragement will find it on the pages of this superb book.”

~ Romantic Times Magazine review of Cherished

Q&A with Bob Westfall,

Q: Do you believe that God wants us to experience joy while here on this earth?

I believe God provided a very clear blueprint for us to experience deep, intimate joy personally and in companionship with Him, now. This principle does have broad application and immediate potential. Just look at what happened when the “master” turned his attention to the one servant who had received one talent and buried it. The Bible says, “Immediately he took from the one and gave it to the one who had ten.” He wants us to invest that which we have been given by Him on earth and now. How many times have we seen people who have faithfully invested their talents and seen deep personal joy as a result? Just ask each person written about in The Fulfillment Principle…

Q: How can we discover the talents that God has given us?

It starts with identifying how God uniquely created you and me as individuals. Then, as you and I go about everyday life, investing ourselves in things we deeply enjoy and becoming aware of those moments, we may just identify a talent. But, we can’t overlook our surroundings, because God has a habit of placing people and circumstances around us and is simply wondering whether or not we will respond and invest in those lives and opportunities. A school teacher that read the book early on said, “I now have a whole new perspective about the lives God has entrusted into my care this school year.” Yes! That is it! Or a business mentor that works with entrepreneurs. He determined that he now would bring the parable of the talents into his mentoring strategy with his clients! YES! That is exactly what we are talking about.

Q: Can we really experience God “entrusting more to us on earth”? Isn’t that just reserved for heaven?

Absolutely! Yes, we can experience this on earth! The subject that gains the most conversation is “on earth.” And I must ask this question. When we witness an employee, for example, who really stewards his responsibilities well and produces extraordinary results, generally speaking, what happens with that employee? Generally, he is rewarded with more responsibility and more income. As we move through life and are faithful in small things, we can watch as God begins to bring more and more opportunity to us.

Q: Why does God ask us to be faithful in the little things before entrusting us with more?

First of all, I think we can look all around the world and find examples of people who have stumbled into riches and glory that aren’t connected to God’s kingdom and favor. As we look at the specific talents God has invested in us and how He uniquely created us and then invest those talents in people’s lives, I believe God becomes quite confident we are capable of handling much, much more. Candidly, I also think it is wise for Him to allow us to grow in our faith in His calling on our lives—wise of Him to allow us to mature in that calling—and beautiful as He allows that to mature us in our faith and in our relationship with Him.

Q: How are our talents tied into God’s joy? 

Because they weren’t our talents to begin with. As we read the parable Jesus says, “He called His servants together and entrusted His talents to His servants.” The reason He is so full of joy is that we have managed His talent that He crafted from Himself into our being especially for us. That to me is the heart of the joy He and we experience.

Q: What is your dream for The Fulfillment Principle?

I believe many view God as a critical, harsh, angry, judgmental and uncaring Lord. This parable teaches that He cares so deeply about us that, first and foremost, He created us each uniquely. Then, given how He has created us each uniquely, He has then crafted talents that are finely woven from His being into our being. To me, that demonstrates a very loving, intimate and passionate God who cares about us to the core of our being. One of my goals is that, through this book, many will say, “This has provoked me to view God in a much different manner, one that is intimately beautiful.” The dream of my life and my wife’s life is to “make God’s name magnificently famous.” My prayer is this little book would inspire such in so many people’s lives. Secondly, I pray that there will be folks out there that resist the urge to bury their talents for risk of failure or that those that may have, in fact, already buried their talents will go exhume them and pursue their talents with every measure of purpose.

Q&A with Medad Birungi,

Q: Can you tell us a little about how you came up with the title Tombstones and Banana Trees?

I was born under a banana tree. Mother had to hide there when she went into labor as my father would not pay for her to go to the hospital. He wanted my birth to be quickly followed by my death as he was full of hatred and anger. Much of my early life was marked by tombstones. I felt like life was over when my father abandoned me, my mother, sisters and brothers. And when my sister was murdered, I became a raging civil war—full of death and thoughts of revenge. But, just like Lazarus, I found out that tombstones are not what they seem. When Jesus arrested me, he challenged me to forgive others—even though they had wounded me so badly that I had wanted to kill them. This type of revolutionary forgiveness has changed not just my life, but the lives of many, many others.

Q: In your book, you share with your readers the story of your childhood. Can you tell us a little about the first six years of your life?

I was very poor. I grew up in southwest Uganda—an area known as the Switzerland of Africa. It is very beautiful there, but for me the beauty was clouded out. My father had many wives and hated my mother—his first wife—with cruelty. He beat us all and eventually we fought back. He left us, but by abandoning us he left us with no food, no money, no possessions and no hope for the future.

Q: As a teenager, you were filled with anger and a desire for revenge, yet God was working in your life. When you chose to accept Christ, why do you think that you needed to forgive your father and others who had abused and mistreated you?

In the East African Revival of the 1930s, public confession of sin was considered essential for any Christian—especially a new one. That tradition was still in effect when I accepted Jesus as my savior, and I am glad that I confessed. Not only did it result in many people getting saved, but it helped to free me from the guilt of all the wrong things I had done. Most of all, we need to forgive because that is what we were commended to do… and for good reason: unforgiveness is a cancer.

Q: Do you think forgiveness for acts of extreme abuse and murder are required by God? Can this type of forgiveness be accomplished without God’s supernatural power?

Forgiveness for acts of extreme abuse and murder are absolutely required by God. In the Lord’s prayer, Jesus taught us to pray: “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive others.” Jesus also prayed on the cross: “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” Stephen also forgave those who were stoning him to death. God forgave David when he killed Uriah and he forgave Paul who killed many Christians. To walk in forgiveness and grace, we must release others through the forgiveness allowed by grace through Christ Jesus. God promises to forgive us unconditionally ALL our sins with confession that is present with absolute repentance. We are to forgive others unconditionally for ALL sins also. Otherwise, Christianity will lose meaning and vengeance, genocide, civil war and more extreme abuse and murder revenging for past sins will be committed.

This type of forgiveness cannot be accomplished without God’s supernatural power. Forgiveness that is genuine and unconditional can ONLY be experienced by the supernatural love of God flowing through the heart by the Holy Spirit. This power comes only by humility and prayer, strength and the unconditional love given to us by God.

Q: When you made the choice to forgive, your life was not the only one affected. Can you please share with us how that forgiveness went on to affect your family and the community around you?

Forgiveness is a choice, but you cannot choose the consequences. When I chose to forgive my father, my stepmothers and some of my relatives, I also chose to do restitution and sort things out with them. This was very hard and frightening, but it brought healing to all of us. Forgiveness gave me unconditional love for my relatives and family members. We helped our father when he got sick by taking him to the hospital, caring for him for seven months and footing all the medical bills. He reconciled with my mother after 22 years of separation. He came back home and was reconciled with us. We also reconciled with our relatives and stepmothers/brothers/sisters when he brought his family back for a reconciliation meeting and made me a heir to his household.

There was great repentance, forgiveness and reconciliations in the family and community around. Deep hatred and deep rooted bitterness were removed and we became a loving and reconciled community. My mother received their children and my younger stepsisters had their schooling at our village school. I also started paying school fees for the grandchildren of those who murdered my sister and cared for those who had hurt us when we were abandoned by our father. My sisters forgave those who raped them. Relationships were healed and restored and our home became a center for inner healing and a Christian home cell church. People still meet in my mother’s house today for weekly fellowship. Jesus visited the village.

Q: You have established a charity by the name of World Shine Ministries and a portion of the proceeds fromTombstones and Banana Trees will go to benefit its work. Can you tell us about the ministry of WSM and how our listeners can become involved?

World Shine Ministries is an inter-denominational, non-governmental, Christian organization. It works to spread the knowledge of the Christian gospel, to relieve poverty and suffering and to assist needy children and students with education so that their conditions of life can be improved. We have a school, World Shine Foundation School, in a remote community called Rwentobo where we have 510 disadvantaged children/children at risk (orphans, street children and children from homes of domestic violence) whom we look after. Among the children are 87 Moslems and others with a background of Christianity or African traditional religions.

World Shine Ministries in Uganda is also involved in:

• Evangelism
• Pastor’s conferences
• Christian broadcasting
• Working with women and fighting domestic violence; advocacy for women emancipation
• Sponsoring orphans’ schooling
• Supporting HIV/AIDS widows
• HIV/AIDS education
• Poverty eradication
• Camps and conferences for young people

Listeners can be involved by: sponsoring a child ($20 per month), supporting the school financially, sending a goat to a widow ($50), supporting WSM activities, volunteering, coming as a team to support in building, performing medical or social work, teaching and conducting conferences, children’s camps or evangelism or becoming a short/long term missionary.

If you would like to support World Shine Ministries, please visit www.worldshinefoundation.org for more information.

Tombstones and Banana Trees: A True Story of Revolutionary Forgiveness
by Medad Birungi with Craig Borlase
David C Cook/July 2011
ISBN: 978-0-7814-0502-7/208 pages/paperback/$14.99
www.davidccook.com and www.worldshinefoundation.org

Q&A with Mike Cope,

Q: When Megan was born, did you immediately know there would be limitations on her life?

At first Megan seemed perfectly “normal” (a word that now seems odd to Diane and me).  We made excuses and considered her “delayed.”  Her older brother decided that the gibberish she was speaking was actually Chinese and that she was actually precocious.  Finally, we had to be real about it.  When she was four we went to see a pediatric geneticist, who told us she had Golden Har Syndrome.

Q: How did you and your wife deal with the realization that Megan was different?  

Like everyone, we had to learn to live with second choices.  (Most of us have a DVD prepared in our minds of how life will unfold.  Those DVDs, we learn eventually, are flawed.)  But we kicked into parental gear.  We helped her learn some sign language to try to communicate basics; we learned how to clean her sinuses with salt water, how to loosen stuff in her lungs with a percussor, how to use the G-button what was put in her stomach, and how to take constant readings of her oxygen level.

Q: Can you tell us a little about your daughter?

Megan was, as I say in the book, our spiritual Yoda.  She loved Sherry Lewis, Sesame Street, Disney Sing-a-Long videos, and every person who was around her.  She spent her short decade of life by joyfully experiencing whatever the day might bring and by loving whoever might be around her.  One time when we left ICU to fly to a children’s hospital, the hospital corridor was lined with 30 adults crying—people whose lives had been altered by the power of her life.

Q: What are some of the secrets that you were able to learn from Megan?

First, that God’s focus is on our hearts (courage, joy, compassion) rather than on accidents of birth (how fast a child can run the 40 yard dash or how high they score on a standardized test).  Second, that weak is the new strong.  As Nouwen wrote, “The way of Jesus is the way of hiddenness, powerlessness, and littleness.”  Third, that life together is our only hope.  Diane and I survived by being intubated emotionally and spiritually by our friends.  Finally, that the end is not the end.  These final chapters are my attempt at a theodicy.  How does one deal with loss and continue in hope?

Q:What inspired you to share Megan’s life with the world?

First, I’d seen the power of her life through stories I told about Megan all across the country.  (I’ve met babies who were named “Megan” because the parents had been so impacted by her stories.)  Then when she died, my best friend gave me a Mont Blanc and asked me to write about her with it.  So I started with years of journaling . . . and then magazine articles and blogs . . . and finally the book.  After the final edit had been finished, I lost that pen on a flight from Atlanta to Dallas.  When I explained what the pen meant to me, the flight attendants wept and nearly tore the plane apart (after everyone had gotten off) looking for it (to no avail).

Q: Working through the grief process is a major part of your story. What do you want others to take away from reading Megan’s Secrets?

The first half is primarily about the power of a weak life.  As a parent and a pastor, I’ve observed that it’s often in our weakest, most vulnerable places that God does his best work.  (As followers of Jesus—rather than the sun-god Apollo!—that shouldn’t surprise us).  The second half pushed further into themes of loss, joy, doubt, faith, grief, and hope.